November 30, 2023

By Gary Dyck

New phrases help us think of what is happening in the world right now. Like ‘friend recession’ to describe how many of our social villages are shrinking. Several recent studies have shown that our sense of belonging and friendships are decreasing. So, just as a recession is something felt by many, it may help to know that if you feel alone – you are not alone.

Some of the reasons for this recession include the fluidity of our villages today. Most of us don’t work on the family farm or remain in one career. Families are smaller, and yet we don’t stay as close to each other. As inflation increases, some of us work longer hours, meaning friend and family time declines. We are trying on our own to survive, to get ahead. Could it be that this individualism is taking us off track? Would we be better off if we had a village ethos like generations of Indigenous people, Mennonites and other traditional cultures had? There is a time and place where diversity makes us strong, but a village of generational relationships also makes us strong. We should all feel accepted wherever we go, but there are only a few places where we can truly feel like we belong – when we find that, we find life.

Other reasons our social muscles have atrophied include a global pandemic and excessive time spent indoors and online. So, now it is time for another phrase that will hopefully help those of us who need to come back to the village square – ‘social fitness’. Just as we need to work at keeping physically fit, we need to be intentional to keep socially fit. Gone are the days when our stable village would naturally keep us in its fold.

The following are five great ways to get socially fit that Claudia Canavan and Gemma Askham wrote recently for UK’s Women’s Health magazine:

Think like a kid 

The key to childhood friendships? Repeated interactions and shared vulnerability. Try the formula and diarise a repeat date (say, an outdoor swim at 10am every Sunday), where you lower your guard.

Don’t expect instant BFFs

Research suggests it takes 34 hours of time together for an acquaintance to elevate to a friend. It’s a concept called ‘mere exposure’ – meaning you’re more likely to make a close friend at a weekly running club than at a wedding.

Stories breed closeness

Scientists monitored MRI scans of storytellers and those listening, finding that brains unconsciously couple during storytelling. So you’re not just sharing airtime, but an entire bonding experience.

Reap small-talk rewards

So many studies show the mental health wins of micro-chats. One study by the University of Chicago found that when strangers began conversations in traditionally awkward places – waiting rooms, taxis, trains – the recipient not only enjoyed the chat, but they also enjoyed the wait more.

Just a reminder that you already have a great village to be a part of at Mennonite Heritage Village (see our winter events below). Volunteering here is a great way to fulfill the need for greater connection. Hope to see you this winter!

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Upcoming Events:

Winter in the Village, December 1 to February 24, Come celebrate the winter season with us! Weather permitting, enjoy festive lighting and Christmas music in the village with some hot chocolate every Friday and Saturday till 8pm. Once there is enough snow there will also be curling and skating on the main rink, a snowshoe trail, tobogganing and kicksledding.

“Keeping Time: The Art and Heritage of Mennonite Clocks” exhibit is being presented at the Manitoba Museum. Visit the exhibit from Oct. 27-Feb. 25. This is an exhibition developed by Kroeger Clocks Heritage Foundation in partnership with Mennonite Heritage Village.

Main gallery and Russländer exhibit, open Tuesday to Saturday, 9-5pm. Visit MHV’s two galleries, including the award-winning Russländer exhibit, about the Mennonites who immigrated from Russia to Canada in the 1920s.

Low German Evening, December 5, 7-9pm. Come enjoy a night of Low German entertainment! Admission: $10. Featuring: Readings by – Veleda Goulden, Ron Plett – Koop & Boua, music by Ken Sawatzky, Q&A Sessions with the authors and a book signing. Refreshments of Pie & Coffee will be served.